Proving once and for all that resenting Scientology works way better than Botox as contraception – Nicole Kidman is up the duff. We go live to our sources in her home turf of Oz for the details. Well not so much live as into the little Celebitchy gray quote box … but it achieves the same results:
Nicole Kidman has at last received the news she’s been so desperately waiting for — she’s pregnant!
After months of fertility treatment, sources say the actress has told family and friends that she and husband Keith Urban are finally expecting their first child together.
Having given up both Tom Cruise and his pushy Scientology ways … not just for Lent, but for good …and not just for good, but for bad boy with worse hair Keith Urban – Kidman now finds her self in the midst of a much wished for Urban Development Program. Good news for this UDP is that the toxins present in botulism don’t act as a blocking agent for peri-menopausal fertility.
“Nicole and Keith are having a baby,” reveals an overjoyed friend. “They’ve been riding on clouds since they got the news. Nicole’s been hoping for this since the day they got married. Everyone knows how she’s been aching to have a baby. It’s all she’s been talking about for ages.”
Having switched from not quite Scientology during the Cruise decade to the religious application of Botox ever since – Nicole has become an oddly glassy, if baby talkative, version of her earlier porcelain self. I thought she had been talking about getting Keith out of rehab ever since they got married … but maybe I missed the midwifery memo. It may be that Keith Urban didn’t take her pre-wedding threats about sorting himself out due to a lack of emotive expression when she laid down the law. Now he’s sober … and she’s preggers. He can adjust his oddly colored bird shit highlights in her car mirror forehead on the way to Lamaze classes. A very Modern Love Story.
pics via Superior Pics and original art by UrbanDK.
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